Partner in the birth room: your role and how to prepare

Birth is teamwork, and the partner can be the warm, familiar face of that team. Not everyone wants to be in the birth room, or is able to be, and that is perfectly fine. What matters is talking beforehand about how each of you feels and what you expect.

Talk first: who, how, how long?

Who is present at the birth is the pregnant person's decision. It might be a partner, a relative, a doula or only the care team. Talking about it well before the last weeks can be calming.

• Say openly what you hope for and what might be hard for you.
• If the sight of blood, needles or pain is difficult for you, say so. Support can be given in other ways.
• Hospital rules, such as the number of companions or entering the operating room, can vary. Check with the hospital you plan to use.

Roles you can take on in the birth room

Every birth is different, but partners often take on a few familiar roles.

• Spokesperson: If the preferences are written in the birth plan, you can share them calmly with the team.
• Physical support: Back or hip massage, help changing positions, offering water, wiping a brow.
• Emotional support: A calm voice, eye contact and phrases like “you are doing well.” Being present usually helps more than talking a lot.
• Breathing and relaxation partner: Practising together the breathing you learned in class.
• Logistics: Bags, papers, letting family know. Taking these off the pregnant person's mind is a relief.
• Contraction tracking: You can note the intervals with the contraction timer in the app.

Preparation steps

From about week 34, the bag, documents and transport plan should be ready. This list is a starting point.

1. Check the hospital bag together (the hospital bag list in the app may help).
2. Keep your ID, prenatal record card and needed documents in one place.
3. Know the shortest route to the hospital and an alternative; think about fuel, charging and parking.
4. Read the birth plan together and update it if needed.
5. Keep a written list of people to call and their numbers.
6. Try a few massage, breathing and position ideas beforehand.

When things do not go to plan

Births do not always follow the plan. Sometimes labour takes longer, or an intervention or a caesarean is needed. That does not mean your preparation was wasted. Staying flexible, asking questions and explaining the team's words clearly to the pregnant person is a great help. Whatever the way of birth, every path is respected.

Your own needs

In a long labour it is easy to go hungry, thirsty and tired. Bring snacks and water, and take short breaks after telling the team. Strong feelings are normal, and you can talk them through with someone close afterwards.

The first hours after birth

The first hours after the baby arrives can be joyful and tiring at once. When health allows, being a quiet, supportive presence during skin-to-skin contact and the first feeding attempt is very valuable. Taking photos or telling relatives can wait a little. Put the pregnant person's rest, drinking water and the baby's needs first. If the team asks something of you, such as holding the baby or signing forms, help calmly. Writing down your questions during the hospital stay and asking about baby care and feeding support before going home is good preparation too.

When to contact your doctor

Before and during labour, go to the hospital or tell the team without delay if any of the following occurs, and call 112 (or your local emergency number) in an emergency.

• Regular contractions that become closer and stronger (at the frequency your doctor suggested)
• Fluid leaking (clear, odourless or coloured)
• Vaginal bleeding
• A clear drop in the baby's movements
• Severe abdominal pain or headache that does not pass, blurred vision
• Fever, shivering or feeling faint

This article is for information only; for your personal situation, your doctor's or midwife's advice comes first.